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He almost fell back in his chair when his name was called as the winning bidder.He approached the clerk on the side of the room where he signed some papers paid with his debit card. Another clerk approached, working a controller as the femborg followed. The first clerk opened up a manilla envelope and pulled out a slew of legal papers."What's all this?" asked Jarvis."Never own a femborg before?" the clerk asked."Nope. Never bought a femborg before." Jarvis looked up and stared into the eyes of his new purchase. Having her brain replaced by a remote control unit, he didn't expect to sense anything, but he saw intelligence there. She even blinked."Yes," said the clerk. Sliding a form out, the clerk said, "This is her birth certificate."Jarvis examined her birth certificate. "Her name is Yeony? What a weird name!"The clerk handed Jarvis another form. "This is her death certificate." Death certificate?" gasped Jarvis. "She's just a walking corpse? A dead body? A zombie?" No," the clerk. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me.A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife."You come to the front door of the apartment building. I am in apartment 3-1There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 3-1. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out,I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"What, You're coming empty handed?"An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver so you will always remember me." But grandpa, I really don't like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa.
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